Synonym Roll

Try rewriting a poem using synonyms. The assignment is:

Print out a poem—yours or another writer’s—double spaced. Above each word write another word that is similar in spelling or meaning, until you have the makings of new lines above each existing line. Revise these into a finished poem.

I took my poem, based on Poets United prompt #33 Fire
Here is the original:

Green fertile mind grows,
Once a bit seasoned, the flame ignites.

Youth smolders, internal heat erupts
Blisters form, as passion roars.
Radiating warmth with fits of rage.

Scorched gifts, burn into furrowed brow,
Oppressive humidity, sucks oxygen out,
Slowly arrogant n' proud, dissipate.

Intensity sparks light of hope,
Enlightenment is kindled,
Passion's promise glows,
Best Wishes of future planted.

Oooh's and aahh's arrive,
as fiery rain dances,
Display breathtaking beauty,
Triumphant new birth
appears.

Now after assignment:

Lush bearing soul develops,
As an aromatic spark kindles,
Teen fumes, inner torrid flames,
Vesicle appears, desire bellows,
Emits white heat controlled tantrum explodes,
Parched favor scalds, ignites creased forehead,
Distressed heaviness engulfs air from within,
Languidly, high spirited ego scatters,
Force kindles illuminated dream,
Awareness glows,
Rapture's hope is brilliance,
Outstanding ambition, destiny implanted,
Pleasure enters,
as red hot torrent tango,
Exhibiting thrilling symmetry~
It is interesting to see how close you can come to the original thought or words. I think the intensity and heat is stronger in my 2nd poem. What do you think?